The Way Things Are
by shatteredwings1
Summary: The title really sucks. A story about who Alice/Mokuren would have actually chosen. Shion or Shukaido? (Alice/Haruhiko...rare pairing...i know) r&r please!!


Author's notes: I don't own PSME so don't sue me!

  


Hey! It's me again...I'm wing, the one who wrote Universe(the fic about Jinpachi and Issei). My email has changed..sorry. Anyway...sorry if I didn't keep the characters in character, but it's been almost a year since I last watched PSME. I know I know, shame on me. I really need to go buy it, but copy was taken. Anyway, I wrote this in one night in a surprisingly short time...I hope you like it! Be sure to let me know what you think!

  
  


The Way Things Are

  
  


Thump...thump....thump...

  


"Ugh...."

  


Thump....thump...thump

  


"Alright...hang on..." Haruhiko buried his head in his pillow, took a deep breath, and reluctantly hauled himself out of bed. The wood floor met his bare feet and sent a shiver throughout his body. He pulled a crumpled pair of jeans off the floor and tugged them on over his boxers. 

  


Thump...thump...thump

  


Whoever was at the door was honestly beginning to annoy him. He would find out what was so important, then send them on their way. He made his way to the door and prepared to open it, putting one hand on the door frame and the other on the handle. Whoever was on the other side was going to get a piece of his mind. He sighed, in reality, he would probably just end up apologizing to them. 

  


"Can I help...." His breath caught in his throat when he saw who was on the other side. He stood there, eyes wide, mouth agape at...none other than Alice herself. He knew he must have looked like a total fool, but he didn't know what to say....if he could even say anything at all. What was she doing here? She had never payed him much attention before, halfhearted smiles among her friends...her friends...not his. They had never spent time alone....never had time to talk, even though he had an infinite amount of things to tell her. Ever since that day....the day everything had come together and he learned what his dreams meant and exactly who _she_ was, he had longed to sit and talk with her. To tell her everything...the things that haunted his dreams. Her smile, her hand brushing against him, the horrible things he had done. Somewhere inside, he screamed and cried out. How? How could he tell her? Maybe she knew. Maybe Rin had revealed to her everything. Everything he had never wanted her to know....

  


His thoughts were sent crashing to a halt when she threw her arms around his waist...holding him so tight, he found it difficult to breath. She breathed muffled words into his bare chest, and he felt warm tears slowly slide down his stomach. He released the door handle and put both arms around her small body. Instinctively he placed his chin on top of her head, and breathed in her soft smell. Her body molded to his perfectly as he protectively pulled her closer. He kept one hand on her upper back and slid the other down to the delicate little curve where her spine met her waist. He moved his thumb in a gentle, circular motion, trying to soothe whatever pain she felt. He had just closed his eyes, when he felt her push away from him. He released her and looked down into her confused eyes. 

  


"You look so much like him...." She placed a small hand on his face and brushed dark bangs from his eyes. "Why?"

  


He sighed. So this was it. Just as it had always been. She loved _him. _She loved Shion now as much as ever. Ever since he had started having the dreams, he had grown to hate his appearance. Sure, at first he was delighted. Wasn't it what he had always wanted? To look like Shion, to be the object of _her_ affection? To be loved and cherished by that goddess. To be the one she hugged, the one she kissed? He had soon discovered that, no matter how much he resembled him, he would never be Shion, and would never be the one she wanted. He moved away from her, feeling her hand slide off his cheek. He turned his back towards her and sighed. It was now or never. Might as well tell the truth. The whole painful, humbling truth. That he loved her, needed her, desired her....wanted her to feel the same about him. The truth that ever since the day in that store, she had sparked life back into him. That he had seen something in her eyes, that he knew he wanted. Something he would never be complete without.

  


"I...I'm sorry Alice." His voice sounded like more like a tired sigh, almost like glass about to shatter into a thousand pieces. "There are so many things you don't know. I don't know the extent of your dreams...or what Rin has told you...but.." He turned to face her, watching her stand there like a lost puppy. One that had been beaten and abused, crying for affection, scared to get hurt again, but in the same time, curious. Tears streamed down her face and fell from her chin hitting the cold floor with a quiet intensity that seemed to pound away inside his head. Maybe that was just the rapid beating of his heart.

  


"Please, Rin has told me....everything...." She sniffed and brought a hand up to cover her mouth. He heard her gasp and saw her body convulse. He walked over towards her and started to place a hand on her shoulder, but pulled it away. What right did her have to touch her? 

  


"Have a seat, I'll get you something to drink." He watched her sit on the bed then made his way to the kitchen. He poured wine into two small glasses then went back to check on her. She was still crying when he handed her the glass. "Here, this will warm you up a little. He gave her a makeshift smile and handed her the glass. He tired his best to ignore the feeling her got when her hand brushed his, and took a seat beside her. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity while she sipped her drink. Soon the tears subsided and the sniffs became fewer and fewer. 

  


"Rin has told me everything, Haruhiko, everything except the reason for your....Shukaido's actions on the moon. I want to know the reason everything happened. Why...how could you do that?" She looked at him with large, questioning eyes. Pleading with him to tell her something to make everything ok. The thing was, he couldn't tell her something that would take back all the hurt that had been caused. No, all the hurt that he, Shukaido, had caused. All of her pain and suffering had been because of him and his stupid one-sided love for her. His grasp on his own glass tightened. So be it. Too many nights had he lain awake, emotionally beating himself up. The emotional abuse had eventually taken a toll on his physical well-being. If it was all meant to end tonight, if Alice never wanted to see him again, that was the way it had to be. It all came down to this, and it would all end this night. 

  


"Alice, I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you." Well, here came the hardest part. "As you know, I am the reincarnation of Shukaido. On the moon, he loved Mokuren, as on earth I am now destined to love you. Before you say anything, I know, you love Shion. You always have, and always will. That was what drove Shukaido to do the things he did." Haruhiko sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, collecting his thoughts and trying to push back the maddening emotion to show Alice how much he loved and wanted her. She was close enough to him now, that if he turned to look at her, his face would be just inches from hers. Instead, he kept his head bowed and his eyes focused on his free hand resting in his lap. "I know that Shukiado's actions were anything but honerable, but I hated the way you looked at Shion. I wanted you to look at me like that." He hadn't even realized he had started talking in first person. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I wanted your love so badly. I guess that's the reason I resemble Shion. I suppose jealously got the best of me." He dared to look at her, bringing his face up, staring into the hurting eyes. "I can never make amends for the pain I have caused" He held back tears as he took her hand. " I just wanted your love."

  


He heard her gasp and felt her hand grip his own. "Oh...Haruhiko...I had no idea." He watched as more tears formed and started to creep down her face. "Why havn't you told me?" He almost stated the obvious, that they had never been able to talk, but decided against it. He just shook his head.

  


"I knew what the outcome would be. I was never really ready to deal with it.." He watched as eyes lost some of the pain the showed, turning into something almost like joy. 

  


"Who do you think you are?"

  


"What?" The question took him by complete surprise. He closed his eyes and kept them shut. "Look Alice, I know you must hate me. I'm sorry for it...for everything. I just...." His words were lost as he felt a gentle brush against his lips. It felt like the petals of a rose. One you pick up to smell, then brush it over your cheeks. He opened his eyes in surprise and saw Alice's closed eyes. He felt her hair brush against his cheek, and felt her warm breath on his face. He closed his eyes once more. He wasn't sure why she had chose to kiss him, but he knew the moment would soon pass, leaving him alone for the rest of life...and to an eternity filled with haunted dreams. He decided to live for the moment, however long that moment would last. He brought the hand that wasn't holding hers up to her face and cupped it, as he did, he felt her hand slide up his neck and through his hair. Everything melted, including his insides. So this is what is was like to be kissed by the one you loved? He didn't care any longer, this second in time is what his life had been for. He deepened the kiss, gently pushing his tongue into her mouth, delighted by the simple feel of her tongue against his. They shyly explored each other's mouths for what seemed like a breathless eternity. He felt her pull away, but kept his hand in place. Now that he had had a taste of her, he never wanted to let her go. He bit back tears once more and cold reality settled into him. This would be it, she had given him a second of happiness and now she would walk out of his life, back to Rin....back to Shion. Against his will, he opened his eyes, only to be met by hers. The tears had stopped once more and all traces of sadness and pain were now replaced a sort of shining happiness. She was smiling, and blushing slightly.

  


"Who do you think you are..." She closed her eyes again and he felt her breath the words onto his lips. "....to keep me waiting like this?" She brushed her lips against his once more, then continued. "If you would have only told me earlier, everything could have been avoided. All the heartbreak and sleepless nights. I would have rather spent those nights here, in your arms."

  


Haruhiko felt like the world suddenly made sense. Everything he had ever wanted was right here. He wasn't completely sure of himself, or what he was doing. This was new to him, he had never dared to think that his love for Alice/Mokuren might actually be returned someday. He drew her lips to his for a deeper, more passionate kiss. He heard her make some sort of noise. Maybe it was a soft moan or maybe she was trying to say something. He contemplated breaking the kiss, when she opened her mouth wide, responding to it eagerly. That emotion to show her his love resurfaced and, instead of swallowing it, he let it take over. He slowly lowered her onto the bed, never breaking the kiss, but showing her all the love he had kept pinned inside. He finally tore his mouth from hers and began to plant kisses along her jaw-line. Her skin was soft, and it tasted salty from the tears she had shed. He felt one hand on his back and the other running through his hair. She brought her head up to whisper in his ear.

  


"You were always so much more...." She inhaled sharply and he felt her body arch a little. "....more gentle than Shion. Please..." She didn't have to finish the last sentence. He knew all he needed to know. Thousands of emotions raced through him, numbing his mind, and making his heart race. He brought his mouth back up to meet hers, and kissed her like he would never have her in his arms again. A hardness pressed against his jeans and he rubbed his thighs against Alice's. Her fingertips dug into his back as she moved against him, succeeding in exciting him even more. This is what he had longed for, the closeness he felt, knowing that she wanted him as much as he had wanted her. It had all happened so fast, but he didn't want to rush anything. He would do this right, and make sure she felt his love in everything he did. He would also make sure this is what she really wanted. He would sound stupid, but he didn't care.

  


He broke the kiss, capturing her lower lip for an instant before focusing his attention onto her neck. He kissed it gently, taking care not to bruise her delicate skin. Her breathing was fast and irregular, her chest rising and falling, brushing against his every time she drew a breath. 

  


"Alice...please let me know if this is really what you feel." He breathed the words into her neck, saying a silent prayer with each one. "I need to know if this is what you really want." He blushed a little, his words were low and almost animalistic. 

  


She answered him by taking one of his hands and placing it on her chest, where her shirt was buttoned. Relived, he went to work. Her clothes came off with surprising ease. Each time a new piece of skin was exposed he took great care to explore the softness with his hand before returning to the job at hand. Laying there, naked, he was amazed by just how beautiful she was. A year had passed since they had first met and she had slowly matured, looking more like a women than a girl. Growing suddenly impatient, he stood to pull of his jeans and boxers, then slid his body on top of her once more. He pushed gently at first, knowing it would hurt her, but still trying to be gentle. She gasped and dug her fingers into his back, burying her head into his shoulder. He had never wanted to cause her pain, but yet he was doing it again.

  


"I'm sorry Alice, maybe we shouldn't do this." He didn't want to say the words, but he also didn't want her to be in pain. He wasn't fully in her, but he began to pull out, thinking it was the right thing to do. She stopped him, telling him it was ok. She assured she wanted him inside her. She pulled him back down to her and raised her hips to meet his. His movements started as random pushes and pulls, but she soon molded to his body and they formed sort of a joined rhythm.

  


He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve such a blessing, but for once in his life, he felt whole, complete. All of his dreams, everything up until know was forgotten. He was a person, a person forgiven of his crimes, and a person loved for who he was. The bed quietly creaked with his movements. This is what it felt like to completely love a person, and to be completely love by that person. 

  


End!

  


I know...the pairing is weird, but what can I say? I fell completely in love with poor Haruhiko and I think him and Alice are good together.....even if he does deserve better than her. Oh well, tell me what ya think....and don't be too harsh please?


End file.
